I am LOVING John Eldridge’s Pause App prompts and the new 30 Days to Resilient plan! (I just completed my first round and am excited to repeat the whole thing!)

That’s where I first heard about Benevolent Detachment.

If you aren’t sure what that is a quick definition includes, in Eldridge’s words, “releasing everyone and everything to Him.” It’s the art of letting God be God and letting go of our compulsion to change people or situations. It involves a combination of a rooted perspective of who God is in our lives, mixed with a healthy understanding of free will, prayer, and trust in God to be there for us and for others.

When we fix our attention on what’s wrong in our lives, other’s lives, or our world - our attention is not where it needs to be. On Jesus.

Benevolent Detachment is a reminder to hit the refresh button in our souls. To close our eyes to the world around us and the chatter within us and commune with Him...

Dreamers tend to have an idea a minute. 

You know the type. They are pretty quick with a "What if?" They keep us moving forward, trying things and improving what is already there. 

Maybe you are the type. You have more vision than there are years in the century. It's a gift and a curse because you always have more good ideas, but it's hard because you probably can't do them all. (And let's be honest, sometimes you start stuff that doesn't get done.)

SO, how do you decide what to do when? And how? And with whom?

Coaching can help! In fact, that is one of the outcomes coaching is designed for!

Now, let's talk about Doers.

Doers get stuff done. Their focus is less on what could be and more on what is.

You know the type. They are hard-working, dependable, and responsible. They seem to be tireless.

Maybe you are the type. You don't need someone to check up on you because your internal motivation will keep things running smoothly and get the stuff checked off the...

Whether you are a coach or a coachee, pastor or parishioner, minister, mom, or mentor the number one obstacle that holds anyone back is something I call the Sunday drive perspective.

When you are on a Sunday drive you don’t really have a destination. You are just driving around for the sake of getting out of the house. (If you have never heard of a Sunday drive, that is something we used to do before gas prices were ridiculous and also before our Sundays were a desperate attempt at recuperation from the work week.)

The point of a Sunday drive was the rambling. It was just a journey with no specific destination for the purpose of spending time with whoever went along. There's nothing wrong with that if your purpose is to slow down and spend time together. 

But when our lives slip into a Sunday drive mindset we don’t have a clear destination. There is no defined purpose or goal we are working toward. Our lives are...

In Bridges Coaching one of the foundational tools we use is called the Always Circle. It is built on these three statements:

- There is always going to be stuff.

- God always offers a plan.

- We always make choices.

See the three "always" in there. Hence the name, Always Circle.

One of the reasons we are intrigued by Escape Rooms is that we know there is a solution and we want to see if we can figure it out. 

Coaching can be like that - if we believe in God.

We have some sort of "stuff". We need to make a decision, or we need a pathway to move forward. We want healing. We're looking for connection. There is something in our life that requires attention and we are hoping for resolution.

In an Escape Room setting, we know that there IS a way out. Others have gone before us. the quest is to figure it out in a certain amount of time and "escape" from the room.

In a Coaching conversation, the parameters are similar. Let's take a look at the parts of the Always Circle...

At our church, we have a saying,

Discussion leads to discovery,

Discovery highlights decisions,

Decisions determine destiny!

The adult learning model forwards the idea that "grown-ups" learn differently than children. Children need to be taught in a top-down leadership model that teaches, or tells, them what to do.

It sounds like, "Don't cross the road without looking both ways", or "Put your coat on before you go outside."

Turns out adults learn better from questions and prefer being trusted with application. That would sound more like, "What are some ways we could safely cross the street?", or "How will you know if you should wear a coat?"

Maybe those aren't the best examples. 

How about a values-based example.

Let's say the point the pastor wants to get across is about having personal devotions. They could tell people they need to read through the Bible in a year, or read for a certain amount of time each day, or that they need to have a prayer journal or any number of...

I may regret this, but hey ~ it's Christmas!

I just decorated early. I think because I want some sort of do-over for last year... I want to celebrate fully and connect deeply and I want to GIFT MEANINGFULLY!

So, here's the offer.

Check out our Bridges Product page for your Gift List OR your Wish List.

Use the code MEANINGFULGIFT for all our products* for 15% off till Dec 1!

That includes everything from our video workshops all the way up to our certification courses! We haven't had a deal like this EVER!

It's worth the click to check it out and remember, use the code MEANINGFULGIFT for the discount. 

Have fun shopping! (and if you purchase a gift remember to use the contact info for the person you are gifting to!)

Thankful for each of you and ready to celebrate!

Cindy

*Books from Amazon excluded (I couldn't figure out how to make a coupon for that - they are fairly inexpensive anyway...)

I first heard of ASD when I was working at a children's home. I was watching a soccer game and trying to get the attention of one of my own daughters. I kept calling out to her. She was playing too close to the road for my comfort. 

"What is wrong with her?", said a young boy placed in our care who had likely heard that phrase too many times. 

Without thinking I told him my daughter had Audio Selective Disorder. 

"What's that?", said Tommy. I told him, "She can only hear me when she wants to."

He thought for a minute and said, "Oh, I think I have the same thing." 

It hit me recently that many believers, myself included, have ASD sometimes. We can only hear when we want to. For me personally, I struggle with hearing God in the small things. I ask for direction on big things but can miss out when He is calling to me in my everyday life.

Maybe He is warning me not to "play too close to the street" when He sees me complaining about my circumstances, or judging...

How should we grow? How will we know?

This is a time of redefining norms for our world and for the church.

As we move through this season - people are coming back to church in person, or not. People are getting back to relationships they once invested in, or not. People are sticking with new habits they formed, or not. People are pursuing plans they once had, or not.

There's a lot to navigate.

For me personally, I would love it if God just gave us a step-by-step plan that we could follow, and then we would KNOW we were doing "it" right! 

I would love that full confidence and embrace the challenge to do all the things.

Turns out that is not how He designed our faith walk to be.

Well, not exactly.

The truth is He does have a step-by-step plan for us, but it is an individual path. You probably know the verse as well as I do, but Psalm 119:105 says, "Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path."

I wish He would just give us a...

Ever wish you had the golden question? 

The single bullet question to clarify everything?

Well, today is your lucky day!

This question is too easy, but the hardest question you'll ever answer, and one you will be asking and answering the rest of your life.

True coaching, for yourself or others, is based on this one single probe!

Ready?

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 spells it out for us! 

"So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. Then the name of our Lord Jesus will be honored because of the way you live, and you will be honored along with him. This is all made possible because of the grace of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ."

Did you see it?

WHAT IS YOUR FAITH PROMPTING YOU TO DO?!

This passage is so beautiful and SO CHALLENGING!

Let's break it down a bit. There are two kinds of prompts.

1) General prompts - these are for all...

When thinking about a decision it can be helpful to weigh the pros and cons. Personally, I like to write them out and then take them to an "altar" in prayer and talk to God.

I say something like, "Here we go God, this is what I can see, but you know it all. Help me choose wisely and guide me with Your Spirit!"

Sometimes, I think He gives me the choice myself and encourages me to just decide, and sometimes I feel a certain sense of what I should do. Occasionally, He drops something in my mind or heart that is new information that helps guide me toward the wise choice.

Then, I ask myself this question: What's holding you back?

If the honest answer is fear of any kind: fear of the unknown, fear of how I will perform, or fear of first (I've never done anything like this before), then I calm my soul and ask God for the courage to say "yes". 

I can not let fear guide my life choices.

As promised, there are two ways you can use this empowering question. 

1) You can use this...